You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
