I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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