did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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