I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
what day is it and did you see me today?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
