I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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