"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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