I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I wanna passion pit in your ass
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize