Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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