Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
