Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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