My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
