imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
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To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
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Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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