I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
