Apparently you make a good broom.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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