if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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