I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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