ya dads aren't the best wingmen
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
