Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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