I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
