Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships

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  (201): it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships http://tfl.nu/cs10
  Replies (28) Good night (882) Bad night (4247)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.

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  (207): I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy. http://tfl.nu/9ve4
  Replies (19) Good night (668) Bad night (3785)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.

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  (847): I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags. http://tfl.nu/hgni
  Replies (18) Good night (6271) Bad night (950)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you

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  (412): She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you http://tfl.nu/82k6
  Replies (6) Good night (4517) Bad night (1014)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?

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  (906): Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over? http://tfl.nu/2cvh
  Replies (6) Good night (2594) Bad night (816)
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  (925): View more from California

  I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.

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  (925): I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3. http://tfl.nu/j6bz
  Replies (2) Good night (952) Bad night (2845)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse

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  (252): The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse http://tfl.nu/x8q4
  Replies (9) Good night (855) Bad night (1834)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on

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  (303): It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on http://tfl.nu/2wn1
  Replies (4) Good night (1673) Bad night (540)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.

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  (309): Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back. http://tfl.nu/c0o1
  Replies (4) Good night (1163) Bad night (506)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?

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  (203): Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day? http://tfl.nu/ae7l
  Replies (5) Good night (634) Bad night (292)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.

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  (202): I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house. http://tfl.nu/n9mx
  Replies (7) Good night (1622) Bad night (376)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Gross! What the hell is that?!?

  (623): View more from Arizona

  It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.

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  (404): Gross! What the hell is that?!? (623): It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon. http://tfl.nu/hr7g
  Replies (7) Good night (930) Bad night (383)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.

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  (407): She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning. http://tfl.nu/3wwx
  Replies (3) Good night (884) Bad night (287)
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  (858): View more from California

  Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.

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  (858): Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke. http://tfl.nu/9t6d
  Replies (2) Good night (625) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?

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  (586): Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge? http://tfl.nu/4sxt
  Replies (0) Good night (386) Bad night (114)

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