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I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
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