So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.