planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever