And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
