i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
