Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
never play flip cup with pint glasses
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
