I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
