i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
