she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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