no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize