I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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