Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize