I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
