haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize