An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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