So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
