he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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