Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
