the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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