I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
