He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
