$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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