you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
