Are we in a gay sports bar?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
