You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Randomize
