I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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