somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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