If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
