You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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