I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
