after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
