elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
you inspire me to be a worse person
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
