I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
