I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
