worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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