Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
