You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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