Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
