I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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