apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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