member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
