Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
