going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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