you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
