He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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