hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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